At start of sixth form I remember having talk with my
dad. He said “Kim, I ask you to let the boyfriend wait till after A-levels.” I
responded quite confidently “Yes daddy, I don’t want a boyfriend. When I’m
ready, I want a man!” Daring! But I knew I what I wanted. I had seen my
girlfriend’s relationships and the results of lack of maturity, research about
dating and conflict resolution skills. I saw results of starting to get serious
too quickly. That’s why waiting and looking before you leap is necessary.
I plan to share Godly principles that you might
receive heaven’s blessings promised to you by God in dating and
singleness. In Jeremiah 29:11 God says “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the
LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope
and a future.”
Many singles
are living for future and missing the blessings of the present. Thinking “when I get married I’ll do…” You have to
live for Christ now, not later. Singleness is not a transitory period always-
for you it may be God’s life choice for you. Live your life to the fullness
each moment. Let us all recognize that journey is as important as the
destination and not all destinations are the same. Hence singleness is Life given by God and an opportunity for Him to
make us into His Glorious image. Some may say that singleness is damage
goods left over. They’re wrong. Your status in life does not determine your
self worth. It’s who you are in Christ. It’s only your character that you can
take to heaven. You can’t take you
family or your spouse.
Given by God, singleness affords self development and
an unprecedented opportunity to witness for him. Paul says in 1Cor 7:32-35 NIV.
I would like you to be free from concern.
An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the
Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this
world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided.. 35I
am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in
a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord
Paul message is harsh. I’ve heard people say “I can’t
be single all my life I need a wife or God knows I need a husband” But don’t
miss the point. A life of singleness
affords a chance to live life focused on the Lord. Undistracted attention.
You don’t have the concern for the host of details and challenges that confront
a family. Let me hasten to say that singleness and marriage, both are equally
blessed.
As a single young gifted female I took the time to first discover who I was and my
purpose for living. I sought to develop in myself good qualities I hope to
find in a partner. Often people try the reverse and the results speak for
themselves. I delighted myself in God’s work which I still do. The whole purpose
of life is to know God and worship Him with our lives. The Psalmist said
“Delight thyself in the Lord and he shall give thee the desires of thy heart.”
Ps37:4
For many persons who have had past relationships, singleness allows time for reflection and
correction of those habits that may be detrimental to future relationships. Probably we need to look at the type of
people we are and the people we are dating. Are we attracted to the right
characteristics? Are we prepared in God’s eyes for long term relationship at
this point in time?
At times the intensity of loneness climaxes and the
yearning is so severe. These are the times God yearns for us to draw near to
him. To be filled up with His love.
Ps 38:9-15 Lord, all my desire [is] before thee; and my
groaning is not hid from thee. My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my
sore; and my kinsmen stand afar off. For in thee, O LORD, do I hope: thou wilt
hear, O Lord my God.
Singleness
affords the opportunity to develop friendships. I remember in the early part of Advent Fellowship I
had interest in a few guys and at that time they all were my friends. We need to learn to develop friendships
before becoming intimate. Not to rush things. At one time I felt, one was
getting serious. He asked me if I was interested in anyone particular. I said I
was not into specialization yet. Friendships allow us to see perspective
partners without the rose tinted glasses. It is true, love is blind, so before
you begin- keep your eyes open, question, discuss with others that you trust to
be objective and sober. After marriage, God will require you wink at those
things you can’t change for Him. Believe me! Also if a relationship is not
intended by God for marriage, you can carry a good friend for life. My husband
can testify.
Trust God with your life and enjoy his company because
in the end that’s what matters. When you look at life you’ll spend more time in
eternity than you will on this side of life.
For God to be King, He must be King of all and
not some.